Home πŸ’œ


Step one of the battle is behind us. We are home today with prescriptions galore, a deep appreciation for our medical team & most of all, heavy but grateful hearts. 

Grateful hearts because of our army, all of you. There are no words we can use to describe how much your love has carried us through this week. The prayers, the flowers, the messages, the texts, the books, the meals, the cards, we’ve read them all and they seem to always come in the moments when we need them the most. We are so grateful for all of you and we love you so much. 

We promised we would write more about our baby when we were ready. I realize now that ‘ready’ wasn’t the right word because who is ever ‘ready’ for something like this. Our hearts ached as we walked out as two, after going in as three. Even through all the tears and heartache, we absolutely know that we want all of you to know our little one and we want you all to talk about and remember her like we do. It may be met with tears but at least it guarantees that this little miracle baby who saved my life, our lives, will never be forgotten. 

World, meet our daughter, Hallie Hope Hart and her beautiful, tiny, most perfect little footprints. We picked out the name Hallie long before any of this happened and we knew Hope was a perfect middle name after the diagnosis.


Hallie will forever be a big piece of our hearts. The ache of her being gone is so real and so heavy right now. We understand it will be very hard for a long time and that the ache will never go away fully but we find comfort in knowing that we will see her again one day. We wondered from day one of being pregnant so many things. Would she have red hair like me or those beautiful blue eyes like her Dad? We were secretly hoping for not both though because imagine the sunburns! Which sense of humor would she inherit? Would she look like one of us or a mix of us? Would she be Team Toews or Team Paisley as her vote would be the tie breaker? We knew one thing though, she was going be a shooter like her Mom after showing off impressive form in one of our ultrasounds. It did lead us to wonder though if she’d ever play defense unlike her Mom. There is so much we will never know about our daughter here on earth and our hearts are broken in ways we can’t describe knowing that. 

We’d be lying if we said anything other than we hate so much everything that has happened these past three weeks. We hate every moment that we’ve been robbed of with our daughter because of this awful cancer. We know there will be many moments (probably even stretches of days and weeks) where the hurt will be unbearable but we promise to take care of ourselves while leaning heavily on all of you, our army of support as we tackle each day. 

We can tell you this though, more than any of the sadness or anger that we feel, we feel this incredible want and need to be strong for our little Hallie. God sent her to save our lives. She did her part and we want her to know we will do our part in her honor and in her memory. We will fight the good fight and will endure all the hardships coming our way (see ya later hair) just to know we made her proud. We are so thankful we got to be her parents, if only for 19 weeks here on earth. 

Please don’t be afraid to talk about Hallie with us!  We will all need to be #halliestrong with the challenges ahead of us, but she is all we need to know that no matter how bad it gets, we are all going to come out of this ok. 

We will be celebrating Hallie’s life with a private memorial service next week with our immediate families after I get a little more medical clearance from the surgery. You can add strength for that to our list of prayer requests. 

With tears in our eyes & so much love in our hearts, we thank you all again for your support on this impossible ride. 

Kevin, Beef & our daughter Hallie πŸ’œ

 

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19 thoughts on “Home πŸ’œ

  1. Dear Bethany and Kevin, Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this incredibly tough time. Our hearts ache for you both. We pray for your continued strength through this journey. If there is anything we can do, please let us know.

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  2. I truly can’t imagine what you guys are going through but kiddos sure make you question and wonder about life but also make you stronger, better people. You are all in our thoughts and Hallie will forever be in your hearts, a part of you and in everyone’s hearts. Hugs to all of you! #Cancersucks #Halliestrong XOXO

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  3. You are brave and loving souls. Tough as this experience has been, it is preparing you for an even bigger mission in the future. You are loved.

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  4. My prayers are with you both.
    You will see your precious little one again.
    Cancer just plain sucks. But it can’t take away your love and courage.
    Nothing can rob you of that.
    Thoughts and prayers for all of you.

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  5. I am filled with sadness, my heart aches for you both. I am SO thankful for Hallie Hope’s life and that she was an angel sent by God for you and Kevin. She was amazing and perfect and such a gift. Thank you for sharing her with us through your words and her precious feet. I am praying for God’s incredible peace now and when you most need it. I pray for healing in your body and as you continue to fight the cancer that your body will respond to treatment. You are such a fighter, you will not lose, you will win! SO MANY HUGS AND PRAYERS COMING YOUR WAY!!!!!

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  6. Hearing what you two have been through really broke my heart. But the strength you both have and love for one another and for Hallie will get you through anything! I hope you’re slowly recovering. I’m sure that surgery was beyond rough. Hope Loyola treated you well, some of that oncology staff will become like a second family. Please don’t hesitate if I can help with any questions you have about that stuff! Praying for you both!

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  7. Kevin and Bethany, I had no idea you guys were going through such an ordeal, I am so sorry to hear of this news!!! I am sure you are both overwhelmed right now with so many emotions. It sounds like Hallie is definitely a special little girl and is loved by many as both of you are. I will pray for you guys and your fight and I just know that you will come out on top and make Hallie proud. Bethany I have never met you personally but I have known Kevin since he was a little boy πŸ™‚ Hope to meet you in the near future! Keep up the good fight!!!!

    xoxo

    Missy Newton

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  8. Tears are in my eyes as I write this. I’m laughing and crying with you. You have quite the gift of writing and as hard has this has been – wow- your sense of humor and gift of writing is amazing and I have felt the highs and lows with you.

    Thanks for sharing Hallie with us. I’m so sorry for your loss – She will always be remembered and one day you’ll hold your precious Hallie in your arms.

    I am so thankful you got to go home to your own bed tonight. Continued and constant prayers for healing, pain control, and rest as you fight to regain strength for round 2 of this battle. Love to you sweet Bethany.

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  9. The love we have for our granddaughter and guardian angel Hallie is beyond measure. πŸ‘ΌπŸ»β€οΈ Though we will never get to see all that she could have been, we know she did more in her short time to bring strength, love and miracles to our lives. With her we have Hope in what can be for you and your family and our family. It goes without saying the love we have for the both of you also is unending. We will provide anything needed! With sad hearts we send her back to God to watch over you all thru this journey ahead. She will always be with us. HallieHopeHart my little angel. All our love! Mom and Dad Hart

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  10. So Happy you guys are home . Thank you for sharing that beautiful story of such an amazing little girl.. We’re praying and know this journey isn’t going to be easy but also know you guys have support from everyone around you near and far.. We are all on this journey with you . Strength, Love and lots of prayers ..

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  11. Bethany and Kevin, the Arnold’s have been praying with and for you since we heard the crappy news. What a giant support unit you have! Stay strong for each other and for Hallie, now your precious angel.

    Love,

    Debbie and Ed Arnold

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  12. So glad you are home! Thank you for sharing Hallie with us … she will never be forgotten. This is the beginning of a journey you did not want to be on … but we’ll be with you every step of the way! Know that you are being prayed for continually.

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    1. So glad You are home too. Always praying and thinking of you and your family! Little Hallie will be watching over you and sending God’s blessings!!!!

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  13. glad to hear you are home. Did the nurses send along any starburst care packages?
    Thank you for sharing Hallie with us all. A beautiful name and a beautiful tribute to your angel.
    Continuing to keep you close in prayer through out the days and nights

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  14. Dearest Beef & Kevin: No words can ever describe the sadness your Uncle Ted and I feel for you. I am sure the Hallie would have been as beautiful and fun loving — truly a great sport as are both of you.
    We love you both and pray for your strength. Hold tight to each other. Love Uncle Ted and Blondie

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  15. Hallie is truly the most special little girl I have ever been introduced to! Thank you SO much for sharing! You, Kevin, -and Hallie are such an inspiration and blessing in all of our lives. So glad you are home – simple pleasures have never sounded so great! Keep it up fighter!

    Xoxo

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  16. With so many tears rolling down my face reading through your post, I want you to know that I am praying every day. Thank you for sharing the story of the incredible baby Hallie. I truly will never know the emotion you are having to endure throughout all of this but want you to know that I am in awe of your strength and courage. I am thinking of you and praying for comfort and peace. Lots of Love.

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